Nate Archibald: From Golden Boy to Gossip Girl’s Secret Assassin?

The Upper East Side’s Darkest Secret: Nate’s Assassin Origin Story (A Gossip Girl Theory)

The Upper East Side was a breeding ground for secrets, scandals, and schemes. Blair Waldorf plotted her way to social supremacy, Serena van der Woodsen charmed and stumbled through countless romantic entanglements, and Chuck Bass navigated the cutthroat world of business with a morally ambiguous compass. But what if the seemingly innocent Nate Archibald, the golden boy with a heart of gold and perpetually furrowed brow, was hiding something far more sinister than a teenage crush on Serena’s mom?

Could Nate Archibald have been Gossip Girl’s secret assassin?

The idea sounds ridiculous, I know. Nate, the guy who couldn’t decide between Blair and Serena for approximately six seasons, the same Nate who seemed perpetually confused by the machinations of his own family, an assassin? But bear with me, dear reader, because within the opulent world of Manhattan’s elite, anything is possible. We’re about to delve into the depths of a fan theory so outrageous, so improbable, that it just might…well, probably not. But it’s fun to think about, isn’t it? The enduring fascination with Gossip Girl lies not just in the drama, but also in the endless possibilities for interpretation and speculation. It’s time to unpack the theory that’s whispering through the digital halls of Constance Billard and St. Jude’s. Let’s unpack the fan theory that’s shaking the Upper East Side, piece by impossible piece: Nate Archibald: Gossip Girl’s secret Assassin.

Nate Archibald: A Portrait of Innocence…Or Is It?

Nate Archibald was the epitome of WASP privilege. Handsome, athletic, and seemingly untouched by the darkness that permeated the lives of his friends, Nate was often portrayed as the moral compass of the group. He was the voice of reason, the shoulder to cry on, and the one least likely to be caught engaging in scandalous behavior (at least, compared to Chuck and Serena). His struggles were the stuff of melodrama, revolving around his dysfunctional family, his inability to commit to a relationship, and his overwhelming sense of obligation. He was the golden retriever of the Upper East Side, loyal, lovable, and occasionally clueless.

Think about it. He was the one everyone confided in, the one who knew all the secrets. He was constantly underestimated, his naivete often mistaken for stupidity. Who better to orchestrate a series of carefully planned eliminations than the one person no one would ever suspect? No one would ever suspect Nate was Gossip Girl’s secret Assassin.

Of course, the reasons Nate wouldn’t be an assassin are numerous and obvious. He was fundamentally a good person, even if he was sometimes indecisive. He lacked the ruthlessness and cunning required to pull off such a feat. He seemed incapable of even ordering a decent cup of coffee, let alone planning a murder. He was the antithesis of a hardened killer.

But… wasn’t there something subtly different about Nate? Did his inherent kindness act as a kind of shield for the darkness behind his eyes?

Perhaps we should look closely at Nate Archibald’s unexpected behaviour to prove the fan theory that he is the secret assassin of Gossip Girl

Unpacking the “Assassin” Theory: A Birthday, a Blog, and a Body Count (Maybe)

Nate’s Birthday Plot

Let’s get creative. The premise of Nate being an assassin is already quite far fetched, but this where we go off the rails.

Birthdays are a big deal on the Upper East Side. Extravagant parties, lavish gifts, and dramatic reveals are par for the course. But what if a particular birthday served as a trigger, a turning point in Nate’s seemingly idyllic life? What if the seed of vengeance was planted on a seemingly ordinary day, blossoming into a carefully cultivated plan of retribution?

Consider this. Imagine a storyline where a pivotal event, perhaps the revelation of his father’s criminal activities or a deep betrayal by someone close to him, occurred on or around his birthday. The trauma of this event could have fractured his psyche, creating a hidden persona, a cold and calculating assassin lurking beneath the surface of the affable Nate Archibald. This alternate persona would be Nate Archibald, Gossip Girl’s secret Assassin.

Or maybe Nate saw it as his birthday duty to keep the Upper East Side in order.

How Gossip Girl Plays A Role

But what about the “Gossip Girl” element? How does a high society blog fit into this bizarre scenario? Perhaps Gossip Girl wasn’t just a purveyor of scandalous secrets; perhaps she was a pawn in Nate’s game. Think of Gossip Girl as a distraction, a smokescreen that obscured Nate’s true activities. By flooding the Upper East Side with trivial gossip and manufactured drama, Nate could operate in the shadows, his actions unnoticed amidst the chaos.

Perhaps Gossip Girl was even his informant. Imagine the power of having access to every secret, every vulnerability, every weakness of your targets. Gossip Girl provided Nate with the perfect intelligence network, allowing him to plan his moves with precision and eliminate his enemies with impunity.

Or Gossip Girl didn’t even know, and Nate was taking advantage of her influence to mask his movements.

Targets

And who were these “enemies,” you ask? Who on the Upper East Side deserved Nate’s wrath? Think about the individuals who wronged him, his family, or his friends. Think about the power players who manipulated him, the betrayers who stabbed him in the back, the villains who threatened the delicate balance of his world. His own father comes to mind.

Perhaps Bart Bass, with his ruthless business practices and his complicated relationship with Chuck, was a target. Maybe Nate resented Bart’s influence over Chuck, seeing him as a corrupting force. Or maybe Nate’s own family history, with its scandals and betrayals, fueled his desire to cleanse the Upper East Side of its moral decay. Could it be said that Nate Archibald was trying to be the white knight of the Upper East Side, enforcing justice the only way he knew how, by being a secret assassin?

Nate Archibald as Gossip Girl’s secret Assassin, sounds pretty far fetched.

Searching for the Subtext: Hints in the Hamptons, Whispers in Waldorf’s Closet

Are there any actual hints in the show that support this ludicrous theory? Probably not. But that doesn’t mean we can’t try to find them. Let’s look at some examples where there may be subtle hints of Nate’s hidden side.

There’s a season where Nate involves himself in a local political investigation that puts him at odds with some powerful people. Perhaps this was when he was training for his “true” calling.

Remember the episode where Nate disappeared for a few days and returned with a mysterious injury? Perhaps he was on a mission, silencing a witness or eliminating a threat. Or maybe he just tripped over a poorly placed Hermes scarf. You never know. Maybe the Hermes Scarf was the target.

Think about it. The show’s writers thrived on outlandish plots and shocking reveals. Serena’s sudden reappearance after disappearing for years, Chuck’s supposed death and resurrection, Blair’s numerous schemes – these were all examples of the show’s willingness to embrace the absurd. The idea of Nate as a secret assassin, while undeniably ridiculous, fits within the overall tone of the series.

The Enduring Enigma of the Upper East Side

Ultimately, the “Nate Assassin” theory is a testament to the enduring appeal of Gossip Girl and the power of fan speculation. The show’s complex characters, intricate plotlines, and dramatic flair have inspired countless theories, interpretations, and fanfictions. The fact that we can even entertain the idea of Nate Archibald as a secret assassin speaks volumes about the show’s ability to capture our imaginations and leave us questioning everything we thought we knew.

The Upper East Side was a place where appearances could be deceiving, where secrets lurked beneath the surface, and where anything was possible. While Nate Archibald may not have been a literal assassin, he was undoubtedly a complex and multifaceted character, one whose true nature remained shrouded in a veil of Upper East Side mystery. And as Gossip Girl taught us, you can never truly know the secrets that people keep, even the golden boys with hearts of gold.

Whether Nate was a secret assassin or not, one thing is certain: Gossip Girl continues to provoke our imaginations and remind us that even the most innocent-looking characters can harbor secrets. And who knows, maybe somewhere in the vast expanse of fan theories, there’s a kernel of truth to this outrageous idea. Because on the Upper East Side, anything is possible. Consider the idea of Nate Archibald, Gossip Girl’s secret Assassin, to be just the tip of the iceberg.

So, the next time you rewatch Gossip Girl, keep an eye on Nate. You never know what secrets the golden boy might be hiding. XOXO, Gossip Girl.